I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
