nut hugger
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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