I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
