You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I am morally bankrupt
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize