ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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