i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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