I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Someone shit on the floor
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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