His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
