OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
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On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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