He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
