Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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