I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
