I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
