Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
