my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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