Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
