so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
