I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
