Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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