Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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