sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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