So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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