a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
