Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
