I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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