I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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