You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize