I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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