nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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