just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
