but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
