when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.