If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.