You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my being single is dangerous.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.