The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize