what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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