Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
