The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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