one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
