is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
