Do you still have your period?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
