The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
