Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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