As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
