After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.