The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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