I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..