I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
