Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
