Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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