Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
