I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
