You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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