He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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