i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
