fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
