:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
