Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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