so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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