I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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