I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
