Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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