She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The air taste purple.
Randomize
