i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
