I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
