ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've blown a few things in my day
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
