Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
