Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
