he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
